10/14/2004: "Tuesday's Argument..."

After reading the log of the other night and hearing from Nadia, this is how I see things.

People think Nadia should get a job, people think Nadia should compromise with Red, people think Nadia is selfish, PMSy, that she never listens. People seem, frequently now, to be rude in pressing her on these things.

Nadia is seriously upset by the way some people say things, the repeated comments on what she NEEDS to do and how she should deal with certain things. She is under the impression that some people really don't care about her feelings.

So, now, my opinion.

People do care, but people are frustrated, and people aren't taking into account Nadia's feelings, or would rather ignore them because if they relent to or tolerate her feelings then she won't do anything, and people really seem to think she needs a good shove. I think that people are tired of arguing with her, too. I also think PMS enflames everything greatly and blows it out of proportion.

I think... Well, I think that what most people are saying is true. Nadia does need a job, Nadia should be willing to compromise since she has the majority of the time on her hands and Red is the one out working. But I also feel that people are unfair to Nadia and disrespectful of her feelings, you have to realize that she's a very sensitive and emotional person, moreso when PMSy, and that there needs to be more tolerance, even if she's being stubborn. If she isn't listening, you need to persist in a fair and rational way, not say how difficult she or women are, or say that "she deserves it", and so forth. Berating her doesn't get it through, and honestly it's something she needs to realize and accept herself, and we need to respect and support that. She IS trying to get a job, by the way. But I think with regards to the gaming time, well, I know she'd been in control of the TV for ToE most of that week, and it's true that Red should be allowed time considering that he's out there working all the time and doesn't get to do a lot of what he wants. I know he feels really limited, time-wise, that he doesn't have time for things. He has to prioritize with art, translating, game playing, and just being in SSU. I think Nadia needs to be more understanding about that and compromise, certainly. But I think she deserves a few apologies for the other night. And I think Vav acted in the right way that night.

I could say some other stuff, but I think I'll really just be repeating myself or addressing minute details, and I feel I'm losing coherence and structure with this, so I'll stop it here. Please, everyone, try to be understanding and supportive, and not get frustrated and jump all over each other or not talk to each other and so forth.